A Big Life of a Small God.

Well, and here we go again. Up before anyone else, getting ready for work. It’s so unfair that I have to actually do things like that. I mean, if you look at Zeus or Poseidon, they don’t even have to work at all. Lightning will come around anyways as a result of electrically charged air, and sea will manage itself, without anyone having to tend to it.

I never wanted this job anyways. I wanted to be the sun god! But of course, Apollo got that one. Just because he is a sun of Zeus… Unfair!

Oh well, unfair or not, I have to get up. Need to oil my rifle and get some ammo. Yeah, I know, you are thinking that an SVD is an old model, it is not as fancy as the newer rifles, and it’s heavy… but at least I can fix it myself, if anything goes wrong. I mean, I can’t wait for Hephaestus to get around and fix things if they break.. That slow freak..

But forgive me, with all this ranting, I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Amour, I have the ungrateful job of being a love-god. Why ungrateful you ask? Well, let me tell you. I have to get up at ungodly hours even though I am a god, I have to fly around the world, making sure that people fall in love, and I get absolutely no credit! Those lovebirds I set up, they are to busy with eachother to thank me, and everyone else around them silently curses me for ruining their chances. And to add to the frustration, the people nowadays are so stubborn, that I have to put them together three or four times before they stay there. I’m even afraid to imagine of how it would be if I still used my bow and arrows… An SVD has a bit more punching power, sometimes actually getting through the heart.

And to know whom to shoot where? Oh my god.. Err… I mean, oh my! It was so easy before. Take an arrow, shoot the heart, and there we go. Love at first sight. Now, one has to shoot people in the head more often than the heart. Yeah, I know, St. Valentine and me had a fight over it a few days ago. He said that I should only shoot for the heart. How can he know that people learned to suppress their heart so well… Mind is the new things one has to shoot for love, and even though it’s not real love, but love from calculation, it’s better than nothing!

Oh, and those new types of people… Homosexuals I think they call them. Shoot them in the heart, in the head, anywhere, it doesn’t work. Why you ask? I don’t know! But the fact remains, one has to shoot them in the ass. Only way to get them… I mean, yes, sure, we had the same concept back in Rome, it was even usual then, but no one expected any of such homosexuals to fall in love back then…

Oh well, the rifle is oiled, the ammo is ready, I’m gone to do my work…

Post Scriptum: I’m back now, in the evening. Damn those people… I will request a plane with a bomb on it from Zeus tomorrow. That way I at least will get them all… And who gets whom, I’ll let them worry about that.

Going to go and get drunk on Ambrosia now. Nothing is nice as Ambrosia after a hard day’s work.